I admit I have not always been the kindest person and still am not the kindest person in the world, but I always TRY to choose kindness through every decision I make in this lifetime. I remember my family used to always tell me I was mean or that the first impression I gave off to people was a bit abrasive or aggressive. When I first heard these things I kinda liked it and thought it was cool, but recently I realized I do not want to be known as someone you need to warm up to. I want to be known as being kind.
I actually met someone who has shown me how important kindness truly is. I have mentioned her before and that is my beautiful girlfriend, but she truly is the kindest person I have ever met and has taught me so much about it. I always wondered what she saw in me the first day we met because I was not the nicest person. I was a person who quickly became defensive and judgmental, along with that aggression that showed up in my tone of voice. But after learning from her, which to this day she still reminds me to “choose words of kindness” or “speak kind words” and yes, those are her words she’s spoken to me verbatim, she reminds me how important kindness is and how easy it is to share and express with others. My life has flowed with ease ever since I started to understand and practice this.
Yes, we all have our opinions and views, but let’s all think before we speak, post, share and ask ourselves “is this kind to say.” Now I know for a fact there are going to be people thinking and saying “Well people nowadays are just too sensitive.” and I can agree to an extent, but no one is ‘too sensitive’ because sensitivity is a great quality to have and one we should actually embrace, but I’d say nowadays people take things way too personally. Either way always ask yourself “is this kind” no matter the situation because you get back what you put out!!
no one is ‘too sensitive’ because sensitivity is a great quality to have and one we should actually embrace
This is how powerful kindness is from my eyes. A bit ago I was in a minor car accident with this man who was twice my age. He came out of his car furious, yelling at me, telling me he’s going to call the cops, putting the blame on me, and all of this. I remained calm, somehow, and proceeded to ask him if he was alright and asked for his insurance and what not. I have to admit I was shaken up a bit by the yelling, but that’s the reaction a lot of people undergo when dealt with stressful situations. My insurance dealt with it as to why we have car insurance, but when it was figured out he took the time to message me apologizing for yelling at me during the whole ordeal. Now, I was not looking for an apology, but it felt nice to receive one. That man, I like to believe, learned from me by how kind I was to him in a stressful situation. He sat with himself and recognized that maybe yelling and screaming at another person was not a kind or necessary thing to do, so I am going to apologize for it and next time something like this happens to take a step back and be kind. But that is just what I choose to believe.
We are born kind, but are taught to be unkind as we grow up. I am unlearning this behavior and it is a tough thing. I struggle everyday with it. Circling back to my girlfriend telling me to “choose kind words.” The reason why she kept saying this to me over and over again one day is because I was being so judgemental. I was making fun of the car in front of us, while we were in line at dutch bros, made unkind jokes to my girlfriend that just did not resonate with kindness. And so she stopped me in my tracks and told me to be kind. At that moment I thought I was being funny and creating conversation, but after I asked her what I was doing that wasn’t nice and she told me point blank. I shut up and sat with my thoughts for the rest of the drive and really needed to seriously practice thinking before speaking. Along with that, just saying unnecessary remarks and being rude is just exhausting. People get sick of being around you or do not even bother with listening to what you have to say.
Kindness is definitely not limited to words, it’s beyond that. Remember that saying actions speak louder than words, that works with the practice of kindness as well. Doing acts of kindness will make you become addicted to it. The other week my girlfriend and I went to Target, just for the hell of it and as we were browsing around and this woman approached us asking for some help and so we did. We could have easily directed her to an employee, but instead we walked around the entire store looking for something pirate related for her daughter’s preschool class. She thanked us so much and went on with her night. After that encounter Lauren, my girlfriend, and I looked at each other and were talking about how wild that was because we had a conversation prior about helping people.
I challenge you to practice asking yourself “is this kind” the next time you send a text message, post a comment, or speak to someone. Do it for an entire day and see what comes about. Along with that try doing something nice for someone or compliment someone’s outfit. I guarantee you’ll feel a lot better about yourself and notice how much kindness is directed back at you. It’s going to be hard to not make that small remark about the person you just walked past that is wearing something you don’t like, or talk about that customer that was giving you a hard time, whatever it may be, challenge yourself to take the kinder route. It won’t disappoint you!
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